How To Succeed In Your Next Relationship
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Relationships and Perceptions
In today’s society we have assumed that there is a one size fits all standard for relationships. The way some people focus on appearances, behaviors, and traits of the people they meet in life influences their understanding of them. It makes sense that this would be our main focus because of our emphasis on societal norms.
Society as a whole seems to have only one successful vision for couples if they wish to lead a happy life. How can this be possible? In every experience we participate in, each of us brings our own schemas, attitudes, and expectations. In fact, the process of interpretation guarantees that we will not all form exactly the same impression of the people we date. Consider this nuance of perception and its implications on your relationships.
How we interpret relationships is largely the product of our previous experiences.
For example, if one has had a history of failed relationships, one’s cognitive map or mental model of relationships in general becomes one of disappointment.
The individual may find it difficult to trust people or become particularly sensitive to any sign that their new partner will leave them. While this is just one example, it illustrates how our underlying representation of relationships, rendered by the connections of our past, can influence how we perceive and thereby interact with our partner in the present, regardless of what is actually happening in relationship. Any future partnership that could have been successful is now under attack by our past.
How we interpret what we receive from our partner can also be influenced by our own expectations. Success in Relationships by David Laing, defined the relationship itself as a set of expectations two people have for their behavior based on the pattern of interaction between them. As we come to expect a particular pattern of behavior in our relationship, any deviation is subject to interpretation.
Because we cannot fully understand another’s experience, we are left to draw assumptions based on our own understanding of that individual. We may try to infer meaning but still lack understanding of it.
This interpretation, however, much like all that we perceive, is guided by our own experiences and subject to our own distortions. We may find ourselves unduly reacting to information that, thus far, is present only in our minds.
Final Thoughts
The video above by Stephan Speaks is very notable to this conversation. Stephan mentions the most powerful secret to a successful relationship in under 6 minutes. He mentions that one must first drop all their walls that are blocking them from experiencing full love. This means that sometimes by having our guard up and not giving your partner your all, you will actually validate their efforts to also have their guard up completely. Stephan explains that you should love yourself fully and be filled with love and give it your all with your partner so they ca no longer make any excuse to not reciprocate. Once this happens they are left with 2 options. Either you match your partner’s energy or you expose yourself as not capable of loving some back.
Hope this article helps you find success if your next relationship and along with Sandy’s advice and Stephan’s video you may use these tips to strengthen your love life. Please follow Sandy Sanchez on Instagram for more great content!
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